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372 Lefthand Canyon Drive
Boulder, CO, 80302
United States

720-432-7850

Heartseed Health in Boulder, CO is an acupuncture and counseling practice offering holistic and integrative care. We can support you with medicine grounded in spirit and rooted in science.

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Blog

Filtering by Tag: safety

An Important Lesson from Thanksgiving...

Dr. Noah K. Goldstein, DACM L.Ac.

Over Thanksgiving weekend, surprise surprise, a family conflict arose. I (Noah) stepped in to assuage the tension and be the peacemaker (aka rescuer). Rachael then called me out with her fierce love. She said, “Noah, you may think you’re trying to help, but really, you’re just triggered and are trying to control the situation because you're uncomfortable.” I listened to her. I heard her. And then I listened into myself, and lo and behold, she was spot on.

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tags safety, vulnerability, emotions, growth, conflict

Is it okay to hurt the people you love?

Dr. Noah K. Goldstein, DACM L.Ac.

Yes. It’s okay to hurt the people you love.

“Wait, what?! Did they actually say that?”

Yes.

Given that part of being human is making mistakes and reacting poorly to emotionally charged situations when we’re under-resourced, hurting people is inevitable. Just as conflict is inevitable.

Often we hurt the people we care about most, our partners, parents, children, siblings, coworkers.

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Believe it or not, hurting people is not a problem. The problem is failing to repair.

Relationships with people we love and care about are usually resilient and strong. They can weather a lot. Amongst the things that keep relationships healthy, perhaps the most important is repair.

So, what does it mean to repair and how do we do it?

Repair is the term used to describe the process of reconnecting and fixing a bond that has been hurt.

First we have to acknowledge the other person’s pain and our role in their pain.

Then we have to make amends. Carefully discuss and explore what happened and why and how things need to happen differently in the future. We say carefully because, well, sometimes in the process of discussing and exploring things we can get reactivated.

Then we make a promise to do our best to change our ways.

Simple, yet not so simple work we all need to be doing.

So, while you can certainly try to avoid hurting people, what’s most important is what you do after it happens.

After you fight, and after you make up, it’s always nice to dance…

tags relationships, repair, safety, newsletter

The Dance of Intimacy and Vulnerability (Part 1)

Dr. Noah K. Goldstein, DACM L.Ac.

There's a way to live life with intimacy, with direct contact with our experiences. Living in this way brings a richness to life. We also gain a deep knowing of the beauty of being. Intimacy penetrates the veils that come between us and reality and liberates us from much friction in our lives. But living with such openness can be difficult. We must feel everything more deeply, including our pain.

I haven't perfected this way of living, but I’m constantly striving. And I've caught many a glimpse into what's possible. It's an ongoing practice that requires presence and openness. And openness means vulnerability…

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tags intimacy, vulnerability, dance, safety, newsletter