Celebrating the Small Things
Dr. Noah K. Goldstein, DACM L.Ac.
I’m in the mudroom staring at my long to-do list, adding things, and trying to figure out what to tackle first. The list is making me anxious. I don’t feel like I have enough time to get it all done and I’m having trouble prioritizing. Oh, and that two hour nap Netta was supposed to take? Yeah, she fell asleep for 20 minutes while I was dropping the kids off at school, so it’s not happening even though she’s a bit grumpy and clearly tired.
It feels like I’m in a never ending slog through my to-do lists. I’m sure nobody can relate. I’m adding things to my lists faster than I am checking things off. It feels like there’s no end.
Feeling anxious about “getting it all done” ironically makes me less effective at getting anything done.
Years ago when I brought this pattern up with my coach he shared something that shifted a lot for me. He taught me about the satisfaction cycle.
Basically, there are several stages to taking action:
The initial urge
The sense of agency that drives us to begin taking action
Following through with the action
Completing the Action
Celebrating the Completion (aka feeling satisfaction).
We all get hung up at different stages of the cycle. For instance, I have an incredibly annoying proclivity to get 90% through a task without finishing it. This drives Rachael bonkers. But that’s another story.
When we feel like we’re drowning in to-do’s, often it’s because we’re skipping the satisfaction stage. We’re forgetting to celebrate each little accomplishment. As a result, we don’t experience a sense of progress. Mick Jagger said it best, “I can’t get no satisfaction.”
Fortunately for me, one of my coaching clients brought up this feeling of lack of progress. As we worked through what was going on for her I shared this whole paradigm of the satisfaction cycle and emphasized the need for celebrating the progress.
This of course helped me realize that I too wasn’t marking my accomplishments.
So, I started taking a breath and a moment to acknowledge completion after tasks. I rested into the satisfaction of what accomplishment feels like.
At the end of day, I celebrate what’s done, especially the little things.
At the end of the week, I reflect on all the challenges it held (big and little) and the sweet moments too.
This is what fills us back up. It’s in this simple step that we feel progress. A simple step we often skip.
What does satisfaction feel like in your body? I notice it as a softening, a sinking, and a filling up, like my body is becoming more dense.
What thoughts arise in your mind when you feel satisfied?
Feel free to use the music below to explore satisfaction in your mind and body.
Warmly.
Noah and Rachael