I hope you're enjoying the way the spring is beckoning growth... with warm sun and cold wet rain and snow. There's a lot of change happening out there. It can be hard to digest it all.

I've been trying to find the moments where I can pause and slow things down to make it all feel more manageable.

I've been sitting with questions around urgency and rushing and business. I'm noticing how the buzzy anxiety that arises in my system when I run "the list" through my head actually freezes me up and slows me down…

It's been a while since I've been able to make the time to write. I'm feeling compelled now because something exciting is happening. I've been working a lot with people around triggers and it's been awesome to see the relief and change that's happening.

Okay, wait, what do I mean when I say "trigger?" Yes, I'm talking about those moments where we have a strong emotional reaction to something. But it's bigger than that.

"I can't believe I did that again!"

"I'm not good at this"

"I don't deserve this this"

Whether it's through voices in our heads, emotions, or feelings in our bodies, we all experience "negativity." Self criticism, anxiety, depression, rage, anger, grumpiness, blah's are an inherent part of the human experience.

In fact, as I'm writing this, my internal cynic editor is annoyed by the triteness of that last sentence.

But we're going somewhere important, so I won't let myself get too caught up in that.

Behind all of the negativity is a positive intent.

Boxes and Boxes. Stacked here and there. Packing paper strewn all over the place.

An ongoing echo, "Where should I put this?"

Moving is a huge undertaking.

Sorting. Cleaning. Junking. Saving. Grieving. Releasing. Crying. Organizing. Cursing. Laughing. Remembering. Grieving some more. Fighting. Repairing. Doubting. Celebrating. Grieving. Crying. Giving stuff away. Buying new stuff. Feeling Confused. Feeling happy. Feeling Sad. Feeling Hungry. Not Feeling Hungry. Sorting more. Moving things around. Looking at the room and moving things around again.

"Where do I put this?"

It's the last night of our trip to Charleston to visit my brother and his family and Zephyr (5 years old) is not cooperating with bedtime. I'm tired and ready to be done parenting and finish packing for our early morning flight.

Zephyr is practically bouncing off the walls.

I notice my nervous system getting more and more charged and can tell I will eventually snap and loose my temper.

"Zephyr, I'm feeling myself getting upset and am worried I might loose my temper if you don't cooperate with bedtime."

In the moment I feel proud about my communication, but later I realize this is kinda a sneaky backhanded threat. I'm essentially saying, "If you don't behave, I'll yell at you." Not exactly my best parenting move, but not my worst either.

I did mushrooms for the first time over winter break during my Freshman year of college. It wasn’t spontaneous. I was the kind of kid who was curious, but also cautious. I did copious amounts of research and thanks to a few friends and Andrew Weil, a progressive doctor who's written books on the topic, I decided to take the leap.

I did so in a pretty thought out way. I was aware of the importance of set and setting and had an experienced friend facilitate the day for me. It was magical and beautiful and wonderful. And it opened my mind in a particular new way….