I reluctantly joined my men's group this week. I was tired, and because a few of us were away we were meeting on Zoom. I felt a sense of obligation and responsibility. But I showed up.

And over the course of the hour and half we spent together I was reminded of two vital things.

First, is how deeply I'm programmed to self-isolate when I'm faced with challenging territory. This is a common male trait in our culture from what I understand.

I've been sitting with a number of questions that have been weighing on my heart. Rather than proactively reach out to close friends to help unpack what's troubling me, I just sit with it, hoping I'll somehow figure it out on my own. Not only that, I almost missed the perfect opportunity to work through it because of this inclination towards isolation.

I consider myself very social, and even someone who does reach out when troubled, but there seems to be a category of difficulties that I don't. Building in time for connection on a regular basis so I don't have to be proactive about it is really helpful. Things like weekly runs with a friend, regular coaching sessions, and my men's group keep me sane. I notice when they're not happening.

The second thing I was reminded of was how important it is to come together with other people to work through things - friends, family, therapists, coaches, acupuncturists. Yes, these two reminders are essentially two sides of the same coin. And perhaps it's a bit ironic for me, who serves in this role for others as my vocation, to need a reminder for myself, but here we are.

If you're still with me, lets go a layer deeper. Let me spill the beans. I've been struggling with how I feel about promoting the upcoming Council of Fathers cohort which starts in September.

In my whole being, I know with deep conviction that the what happens in the Council of Fathers Cohort Program is profound. It's changing people's lives, which is changing families, which changes communities. We get incredible feedback from the participants. The participants get moving feedback from their partners (and sometimes even children). More than one dad has said their partner or co-parent has reflected to them that "their not the same as they were 5 or 6 months ago."

But somewhere in me was this sense that I can't convey this. I can't convey it through a picture on Facebook or Instagram. And, anything I say in a picture caption will either end up too long, so no one reads it, or short and trite. Now I recognize this is all my own story, and perhaps inaccurate (which my friends helped me with). Regardless, it would be of service to no one to limit how I spread the word because of worry around "how it might come off" or whether my message would come through.

It was only through connection, through coming together, that I could really see this, and more importantly, feel a shift in me that can fuel the action I need to take.

So, don't forget to connect. With your friends, your family, your coach or therapist or mentor or shaman, or whoever your "person" or people are.

And, well, if you know anyone who's a dad who would benefit from Coming Together with other dads, please let them know about The Council of Fathers.

With open hearted humility and gratitude,

Noah